Did you know that the Spanish have two different words for “To be”? Why would you need two separate words to simply say, “I am”?
Well the first word is Ser, which an attribute, while Estar describes a state. So what’s the difference?
Well, you might say: -
But enough about me….
Only joking! These are descriptions of what you are. The essential attributes that make up you. They don’t change, or at least only change over time.
Then, on the other hand, we have states -
Sometimes it can feel as if these are part of who we are, but actually we can control our state on a minute-by-minute basis.
Think about the last time you felt angry. What happened? Chances are someone did or said something to you? Or maybe a situation made you angry? Perhaps a perceived wrong?
Whatever it was, what was it that led you to choose to be angry? Because that’s what you did. You can respond to any situation in any way you choose, so what was said or done that made you choose to be angry?
Or maybe you feel sad. Again, think about what has happened to make you feel that way. What has happened that has made you respond by feeling sad?
Maybe you are getting angry now because you think I am not taking your real anger or sadness seriously. Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. I know that when you get angry or sad, it can consume your whole life. But the truth is, that this is how you have chosen to respond to the situation.
There is a story told about Buddha. A man wanted to test whether he really did respond to evil with good. The man travelled miles to meet Buddha then verbally abused him and generally insulted and offended him. But Buddha was completely unmoved. This puzzled the man, but Buddha asked him a question. "When someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?"
The man agreed that the gift still belonged to the person who offered it. Buddha smiled and nodded and told him that if he refused to accept the abuse then it still belonged to him.
So, are you in control of your state?
NLP techniques are a powerful way of helping you to identify and change your state. This can either be as a quick response when needed, for example you may want to put yourself into a cool, confident state before an important meeting. The Circle of Excellence lets you quickly and easily assume all the powerful states you need to face any situation, giving you a real advantage.
NLP techniques can also be used to explore your ‘hot buttons’ to help you identify why something or someone is able to have such an effect on you. Then once you understand it, you can change it. Forever.
Your subconscious mind is very powerful, but difficult to talk to. It has amassed a lifetime of experience and really does think it knows best when it comes to your well-being. So, if someone doing ‘x’ has always caused you to respond in ‘y’ way, then that’s what you’ll keep doing. NLP language techniques can be used to explore and expose this flawed thinking and offer alternative responses.
Think how empowering it would be to be in complete control of your state every minute of every day.
All the best
Reiki is a method of working with energy that can be used for your own benefit or for the benefit of others. Here in the West, Reiki symbols play an integral part in how the practitioner works with the Reiki energy. Click to read my ezine article which explores Reiki symbols and their use.
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One of my great passions is helping people to achieve success and reach their true potential, after all life is too short to not define and reach your smart goals. But saying is very much easier than doing.
I know a lot of people who seem to have tried everything, but are still not able to make the breakthrough. It may be fear of failure or even fear of success, maybe they feel overwhelmed. Whatever is causing it, the impact is the same. Something is holding them back. This can manifest itself in procrastination, lack of focus or displacement activity, often leading to despair and frustration.
It can be difficult to know what you need to do. You need an actionable plan and the focus to stay the course, but where to begin. Do you have the skills you need? Do you have all the information you need?
There are a million (probably an exaggeration) self-help books out there, and it’s difficult to know which ones are best. The best one for you is undoubtedly the one that speaks loudest to you. All good self-help books basically have the same message, but they all have their own take. They all reflect the author’s path and speak in their language. They all have a different process, and in my experience, the best thing to do is find the one that resonates with you and stick with it.
I find the language aspect fascinating. I am an NLP Practitioner, so I understand the power of words, even though verbal communication forms a tiny part of any communication. But more on that another day.
One of the most important steps in any process is setting small, achievable steps. I have always spoken about, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” That analogy works for me. A smart goal can seem impossible, daunting even, so the best way to tackle it is to break it down into small, manageable steps. Imagine my surprise to read Brian Tracy in Eat that Frog speaking about eating frogs. Different language, different analogy, but underlying massage absolutely the same. To achieve your goals you need to articulate your vision, set smart goals, then create an outline of steps that you will be able to follow all the way to success.
But it’s difficult to know which book will work for you.
The other day I happened on a great book which has moved me forward a bit in my thinking. It’s called the ‘10 Best Self Help Books That Change The Lives Of Millions Of People.’ The sales blurb describes it as “One Of The Most Valuable Resources In The World When It Comes To Powerful Tips to Achieve breakthrough.” While I think that is maybe going a little far, it does set out the principles behind 10 of the most popular self-help books ever written.
The author says, “As a person just like you who has struggled with bettering my future and destiny, I have searched high and low to find the best strategies to fix this problem and I am fully qualified and equipped to help you put an end to your frustration with trying to wade through all the info you need to know to be a better person in the future!”
This book is a great way to get a good understanding of the message from some of the best self-help gurus around and hopefully give you enough information to move forward in your journey.
The book explores:
Viktor E Frankl - Man’s Search for Meaning
Steven Covey - The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People
David Burns - Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
Tony Robbins - Awaken The Giant Within
Spencer Johnson & Ken Blanchard - The One Minute Manager
And, of course, my new favourite, Eat That Frog, and many more.
I was impressed. So much so, that I would like to give you a free copy. It’s only going to be available for a few days though, so don’t delay. Don’t worry, there’s no catch, sign up now, and you can download a copy and get started immediately.
Morning all, I’ve been doing a bit of work on the website. I had hoped to have a big ‘Ta Da’ Launch, but things are taking a bit longer than expected.
So, to keep you going I thought I would give you a bit of Flash Fiction. This brief for this was write a short story in 100 words or less.
I write this as a white, Scottish woman, living in Scotland, and married to a black American woman.
There were a couple of stories reported yesterday that caught my eye and got me thinking. Both relate to people who have done bad things in past. Raising the question, should your past mistakes stay with you for life, or is it ever possible to redeem yourself?
A for Article 50. After all the preamble, the day has finally arrived. Theresa May has signed the letter, confirming that the UK intend to leave the European Union. The letter is on its way to Brussels to be hand-delivered to EC President, Donald Tusk, and at around 12.30, we will all know its contents and the next stage of this “momentous journey” will begin.
Just finished watching the first couple of episodes of the new series of the X Files. While it was great to see Scully and Mulder again it got me thinking about faith and belief.
There are two movies showing at the moment based on books I have particularly enjoyed. I share below my thoughts – no spoilers. I confess to not having read either book recently so this is my remembered feelings around the books.
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Hi, thanks for visiting my blog. My name is Audrey Finch and I am an author and a passionate believer in holistic health and wellbeing.